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Kiss Me GoodbyeBy Kitsu Sakuma I watched the door close behind them as they left my office. Only one was left; The only one what mattered to me. No words needed to be spoken as I fell into his arms, wrapping my arms tightly around his slender waist, and he began to pet my hair. I didn't want to let go. I knew this day would come, yet... I chose to ignore it. I wished not to believe in it. I squeezed my eyes shut, but the solitary tear trickled down my cheek anyway. He murmured softly to me and placed kisses on my forehead, my hair, my cheeks... telling me how much I meant to him, how much he wished he could stay. 'Why can't you stay?' I wanted to ask. But I knew the answer... If he stayed, I would not be able to perform my duties as Emperor effectively... I would listen with my heart and be swayed by trivial matters. He gripped my shoulders to pull away, but I wouldn't let him... He sighed and spoke my name. It sounded so sweet... I wanted to hear it again. So I gripped him tighter. This time, when he spoke my name, it sounded stern... and I slowly let go of him, looking up into his eyes. He smiled and caressed my cheek, and I, trying to be strong, bit back my tears. He saw through my guise, though, and leaned his forehead against mine. I revelled in his touch, wished it wouldn't end... But all too soon he pulled away, running his fingers through my hair once. He hesitated for a moment, and I looked up at him inquisitively, asking what he wished. His eyes darted toward my lips, and before I figured it out, he had pressed his lips against mine. My eyes flew open in surprise, but as soon as I regained my senses they fluttered shut and I sighed against his lips, melting into him. He pulled away, and whispered one final lie into my ear, the sweetest lie I've ever heard... No; not a lie... Just a truth that cannot be realized. Then he retreated and jogged toward the door, without a look back at me. I wanted to think that it was because he no longer wished to see me... But he didn't want me to see his tears. Before he was gone from the room, I whispered into the emptiness around me; Words that could only explain the joy he brought to me in the short time we were together... "You were the dream in my reality...." He stopped for a moment, and made to look behind him, but shook his head and slipped out the door. His words barely reached me, stricken with my own selfish grief. The last words I heard him speak to me. The last time anyone said those words to me... That was three years ago. I don't know why I still sit and reminisce about those days... I barely remember what he looks like. I just remember his hazel eyes, and his flaxen hair. I remember his tan skin, and his soft lips. I remember the way he way he used to touch me, and how he would save a certain smile for me after everyone else fell asleep. ...Alas, I kid myself. I remember everything about him. And sometimes, when I try to forget... That's when it hurts most. I wish that my fondest memory would once again become tangible... I need him to say those words to me again... And perhaps, we could share one more kiss good-bye. x | return |